Computer expert...

I work in what is called the "Cyber Center" in the central library of Queens Borough Public Library system, a bank of 48 public use computers. Occasionally [this is sarcasm] the computers break down or a slow or freeze or something of that nature and I have to go around and fix them. Just moments ago, a wise wise customer informed me that the computer needed to be "reprogrammed to go faster" and that you have to "take everything out of the computer and put it on the floppy disk" to do it. And no, this was not a five year old. So sad...